Josh's letter 12/7/09

Oh boy I might never be forgiven. I'm sorry I blew the wii. The kariokie sounds like alot of fun though. I was reading throught the rules and I am supposed to notify the mission offic if my home ward or stake changes. I assume the stake is the same eh?

I loved reading your emails and I recieved two fed-ex packages this week. One with the Able Evans history which I read through and really enjoyed. I am so greatful for those two missionaries who carried the spirit that converted Able Evans who was humble enough, even in a formal argument, to hear truth and then harder to act upon it. From his own work thousands joined the church and since him there have been many missionaries that have been born and raised and fullfilled misssions and proclaimed the gospel to the four quarters of the earth. I wonder how many have had the fire of testimony kindled from the line of Able evans. I am one, together we're eight, his father is nine and his own converts is 2009 and so on... I also recieved the Christmas decorations just this morning. I haven't had a chance to set them up yet, but on my return home I will. I'm particularly excited for the chritmas music. I imagined last night as I watched the Christmas devotional my whole family gathered together in awe of the beautiful music and message of Christmas. Though we are not all together Brian and David at BYU, I in Brainerd but I think we were all watching that devotional at the same time and even if not I dont care because in my mind’s eye we were and I felt peace on earth and good will towards man. I felt love. I know that those meek and humble servants of the lord are prophets of the most high God who are declaring his singular and hope saturated message of love. A message that two thousand years ago a baby king was born who was Christ the Lord. That through him the worlds were created but more miraclous than that "out of a worthless lump of clay, god has made a man today." That from this fleshy tabernacle may raise triumphant and pure: a man. I feel like a baby declaring this message too great for kings. But it is true. And truth will not be ashamed. It will remain in the great furnace of this life while the impurities are refined away. It is a message that "adults never understand and children get tired of explaining." It is simple and pure. I have thought several times of Dad and Rachel who are probably getting very excited. I'm sure Dad is busy with prepartions and Rachel I'm sure decorated the day after thanksgiving if not before. I thought of mom and I hope you all know that this year will be a small Christmas. I’m sure it will. I have thought of the straggly manger and the straw that was placed one by one through acts of kindness (mostly by Rachel) to give baby Jesus a comfortable bed. I thought of Finals and the catharsis that follows. I thought of Matt, and his smile that is irritatingly contagious come chritsmas morning. And Cubbies nut. Well I best not get too carried away Christmas is still a little ways away but I am sure excited. I feel it so early this year and I am glad. I want to be able to say as does Bob Cratchet at the end of my life, "I truly am a happy man."

David I loved your Christmas letter. Rachel, Matt, and Cubby...no letters still... I'm just saying. Mom I also loved your letter. I hope the retreat was nice and relaxing. My companion is a really good missionary. We clash sometimes because we are fairly similar in someways. But I will miss him and his confidence and boldness when one of us gets transferred (which might be the 23rd). I also enjoyed Grandmas letter. I have bragged about my grandparents many times. Actually the only movie we are allowed to watch on Pday is The Other Side of Heaven which has her pictures in it.

I still haven't got winter boots but I do have these kind of santa boots things I got for an exchange at the store that are working pretty good. They might not hold up come -40 degrees but I wait until that comes. I will probably get some boots yet. Plus I now have a ton of foot warmers.

And God bless us, everyone. And God bless us, everyone.
Love,
Elder Sabey
ps We have a baptism this saturday. Danielle Higgins is being baptized. I am baptizing which will be my first one. I guess it will be a white Christmas. Hurrah for Israel

Why attend church

Dear Brook,

Thanks for your text yesterday, and your input on the phone.  You are very wise and understanding.  After I talked with you, I talked with Mark.  We are so conflicted about what to do about church and Rachel.  I am writing you this to outline why I want Rachel to attend church (even if spirituality can’t be forced, and even if she hates church and feels “it’s just not for me”).  What I am asking of you is to read this and respond honestly.   I am going to present each point of why I want her to attend church, and then give a non church example to explain.  The basic premise of all the points below is that all of God’s directives are intended help people find the greatest amount of joy in this life.  From the moral codes (the 10 commandments and the standards in For the Strength of Youth) to the command to keep the Sabbath day holy (which includes attending church), God’s directives are for our protection and enrichment. 

1.        Attending church helps us feel closer to God.  Attending Church is an outward and social expression of commitment to God.  It says God is more important to me than the other things I could be doing with this time.   Time dedicated to God improves that relationship more than time not dedicated to God.

Example:    If a woman is one is never willing to be seen publicly with her husband and does not spend time with him, how good can that relationship be? 

2.       Attending Church reinforces good, moral standards of behavior.  We need reinforcement, because we are bombarded with many contrary messages.

Example:   Most teenagers question authority and seek individual identity.  They do not want restrictions on them at all.  They want to truly LIVE life to its fullest.  Although this is good and natural, God also wants to keep them safe and help them find true happiness.  Without believing and following a moral code, teenagers can really damage their future lives.  If you take away the belief that moral codes are from God, following them becomes less likely.   Rachel said two weeks ago, “When I leave home in 1 ½ years, I am going to try beer and have sex.”  By disregarding and denying the standards she has been taught, she is racing into dangerous territory.

3.       Church participation is intended increase our ability to be selfless.  Life‘s happiness comes not by finding oneself, but by giving of oneself.  In our church, every single person serves.  It’s a layman’s church—no one gets a salary but everyone contributes to the overall success of each ward.  From a social perspective, we go to church to give, not to receive, but by giving we do receive.  Most wards, along with many wonderful and self-sufficient people, have some social misfits, people with serious illnesses, hypocrites and people with other challenges.  Our responsibility is not to associate only with those who are like us, but to learn to love those who are different than us and are harder to love.  We grow as we love others.    

Example:  AA:  Once you are on the road to rehabilitation, you are to continue to help those struggling.  This turning to others is an integral part of maintaining commitment to stay dry.  In the same way, by continuing to go to church to help others, one is able to maintain a service-oriented, much safer and secure life.

4.       Truths are not relative.  Feelings are relative, but truths are not. 

The idea that I can be spiritual on my own is denying God’s desire for us to become as one—truly loving others.  There are not any individual vacuums in God’s plan.  Part of God’s plan is to eliminate self-centered pride.  John Donne said it this way, “No Man is an island alone unto himself.  Each man is part of the continent. . . .”  We are our brothers and sisters’ keepers.

Example:  Dance.  If a person says, “I want to be a really good dancer, but I don’t want to have to follow any rules or any instruction or be coupled with anyone else,” that person will never become a great dancer.  Humility, a willingness to listen and learn is an integral part of true progress. 

5.       We go to church because it is right, not because it is convenient or because we want to. 

Example:  Rachel would love to quit high school because she does not like it—and “no one likes me there.”  We will not let her because high school is a necessary launching point for opening up opportunities for her future.  Rachel wants to quit going to church, but I feel church has a much greater potential for helping (and protecting) her future than any high school or college because at church we learn of eternal truths and paths to happiness that will affect every relationship we ever have and will give us boundaries that will bring us peace.

6.        Some say that no one should be forced to go to church, because spirituality cannot be forced.  Although it is absolutely true that spirituality cannot be forced, we do not go to church to force spirituality.  We go to church to set a pattern in our life that is helpful and good.  If we follow this good pattern, there will come a time when we are prepared to feel and understand spiritual things.  If we have never set that pattern, we might not be prepared or in the right place to become the spiritual person we can be.

Example:  When I was in college, I had to take a poetry class that I hated.  We read all sorts of long and boring poems.  Each homework assignment I started with a sigh.  Because of the pattern of doing my homework (because I needed to get a good grade), however,  sometime in the second half of the semester I came upon a poem that ignited me.  I loved it!  Somehow that one poem changed my whole outlook on poetry.  I came to love poetry and I have passed that love on to some of my children.  If I had not been forced to read a lot of poetry, I never would have come upon the one poem that changed my whole view on poetry.

7.        Rachel says, “I don’t want to go to church because church makes me feel guilty.”  In doing so, Rachel is blaming her own self-condemnation on the church.  Our church’s purpose is to provide hope, light and encouragement, not the opposite.  God’s desire is for us to accept His love and believe in ourselves. 

Example:  Rachel says, “School makes me feel dumb,” it’s a pattern of thinking that is in error.  Two equally intelligent people could be in the same class and one could feeling stupid because s/he did not know what the teacher was teaching and the other could feel stimulated and challenged.  It’s a choice of how we think/talk to ourselves, not about the forum in which it ideas are presented.

Abel Evan's History

Abel Evans
COURAGEOUS ELDER
Based on the book,
Indefatigable Veteran—History and Biography of Abel Evans,
A Welsh Mormon Elder,
written by Ronald D. Dennis,
Rhydybont Press, Provo, Utah 1994

Samuel and Anne Evans were newlywed and poor. They lived in a
laborer’s cottage and worked on a farm in Wales called Hedgehog Castle.
On June 17, 1812, Anne gave birth to their first child, a baby boy. Although
Samuel and Anne had been forced by the laws of England to be married in
the Church of England (also known as the Anglican Church), they were
allowed to choose the church in which their son would be named and
christened. Most parents took their infant children to the local vicar of the
Anglican Church, but Abel’s parents were members of a group called the
Independents. The Independents were “nonconformists” who were fiercely
opposed to many of the Anglican Church’s beliefs. They strongly
encouraged their members to study the Bible and think for themselves.
Farmhouse at Hedgehog Castle

Samuel and Anne took their newborn son to the Independent Chapel
for christening and named him Abel.
Abel grew up as a farm boy, but his family moved to Merthyr Tydfil,
a industrial mining town, by the time he was a teenager. As he grew and
became a man, he probably began working in the mines where cave-ins and
explosions were a constant danger. During winter months, the miners spent
six days a week in the mines and only saw daylight on Sundays. Abel
attended church on Sundays at the Independents’ Bethesda Chapel. He was
well-respected and was asked to serve as a deacon in the Sunday School.
Independent Chapel at Llanboidy
Bethesda Independents Chapel in Merthyr Tydfil

Abel’s 32nd year of life was one of change. His Mother died of
pulmonary tuberculosis and, within a few weeks, Abel first met the Mormon
missionaries.
Missionary work began in Wales in 1840, when Brigham Young and
Heber C. Kimball were serving missions in the British Isles. Because of the
positive reception they had received in Wales and their love for the people,
the Church leaders sent other missionaries. In 1843, Lorenzo Snow called
William Henshaw, an English convert who had married a Welsh woman, to
establish his family and preach the gospel in Merthyr Tydfil. By the end of
1843, he had baptized nearly eighty converts.
Many negative stories were circulated about the Mormons. A Baptist
reverend in the area wrote:
The foolish and madmen who call themselves
‘Latter-day Saints’ have arrived . . ..
I did not think there were men so stupid in Wales
to believe such a heap of nonsense and
presumption.
I’m sorry to say that a number of the dregs of
society are now believers. They are baptized at
night, and those receiving baptism must undress
for them and go to the water stark naked.

The Independents took a different approach to the Mormons. They
challenged the Mormon missionaries to two debates, the first on the topic of
miracles and the second on baptism. The Independents believed that
miracles such as healings had ceased at the time of Christ and that the proper
method of baptism was by sprinkling. The Independents selected Abel
Evans, rather than their minister, to represent them in the debates. After the
first debate, it was reported that Abel Evans, “an intelligent and gifted young
man,” “a warrior from his youth,” had “appeared victorious in the eyes of
the public. His brethren were extremely proud to have such a young man of
hope in their midst.” During the second debate, Abel Evans, the hero of the
first debate, fell silent. Abel listened to the missionaries he was supposed to
be debating. He was persuaded and his heart was touched. He knew the
message was true, and he had the integrity and courage to follow his new
convictions. After the debate, Abel went with the missionaries to the river
and was baptized.
The Independents were shocked. It was reported that Abel’s father, Samuel
Evans, was greatly distressed: “His lament the next night at the meeting at
Bethesda [Chapel] was extraordinary, and all he could do was wonder and
ponder as to what had bewitched his son.” Samuel Evans soon found out.

Only four days after Abel’s baptism, Samuel Evans and another of his sons
were baptized, with other family members soon to follow.
For the next six years, Abel Evans served as a missionary in Wales,
preaching the gospel, administering to the sick, casting out devils, suffering
persecution, baptizing many new converts and strengthening the Church.
Although Church records from this period are incomplete, it was reported
that Abel baptized over two thousand souls during his first mission.
At one conference of the Church, individuals possessed of devils were
disrupting the proceedings. The presiding officer commanded evil spirits to
depart and the audience responded with such such powerful “Amens” that
the neighbors thought it had thundered. Although this sent most of the
devils packing, two women who were more stubbornly possessed continued
to be disruptive. The presiding officer closed the meeting, called the elders
together, including Abel Evans, to deal with them. The women, who had
been frequently possessed elsewhere and were living in sin, were biting,
kicking and swearing most awfully. When the women were
excommunicated, they laughed and derided, saying that was what they
wanted. Once the evil spirits were cast out, however, the women dressed

their upper garments which they had previously torn off themselves and
went home without further disruption, weeping bitterly when they learned
they had been excommunicated.
Although Abel had, before his baptism, argued that miracles had ceased, he
became known as one whose priesthood blessings had miraculous force.
Through Abel, the Lord healed many believers of various maladies,
including several cases of cancer and cholera. In one instance, Abel
administered to a sister suffering from a cancer that had terribly eaten away
her face and nose and bored holes in her jaws. The smell of the cancer was
so horrible that no one would stay in the house with her. Following a
priesthood anointing and blessing, the cancer was killed and her face began
to heal. Eventually, she grew new flesh and skin and a new nose.
In a small town on the Isle of Anglesey, the town crier—whose job it was to
make public announcements in a loud voice throughout the town—refused
to announce the sermon Abel Evans would be preaching that evening. Abel
learned that it was the local Methodist minister who was imposing this
restriction. In a letter describing the situation and his response, Abel said:

[The town crier] was free to announce dogs and
swine, fairs and games—in short, everything
except for a preacher of the Saints. Then I had to
take the honor to myself of announcing throughout
the town in his place; and together with
announcing the sermon I was obliged to announce
to the public why I was taking the job of the
restricted crier in question. And the people
testified that I filled his office much better than he.
I don’t intend ever to try to obtain his services
again, rather I shall announce myself. And
perhaps if the crier is not able to escape from the
Methodist clutches of his minister, everyone in
[town] will begin to announce himself also. After
the trouble I took and the threats I received, an
excellent meeting was held, and many testified that
they believed on the sayings that cause some to
begin in Christ.
In late 1849, Abel was notified that church leaders in Council Bluffs, Iowa
(where there was a large company of Welsh Saints), were requesting him to
cross the Atlantic with the next company. Abel began preparations
immediately, and about three months later he boarded the Josiah Bradlee, a
sailing vessel the Church had chartered to take 263 emigrating Saints from
Liverpool to New Orleans.
Abel kept a journal of the crossing.

The following are some of the excerpts from Abel's Journal:
Feb 19 Harsh wind and almost all the Saints sick. Wm Rees and
myself watching over them day and night.
Feb 20 Everyone very sick except for two, Jones and myself. We
were carrying the pots out and tending to them.
Feb 24 Today we saw a fish half the length of the ship. It was about
thirty yards long!! This sunday I married Lewis Davis
and Sarah Rodgers on board ship.
March 1 The wind very contrary. The elders agreed to pray for a
favorable wind.
March 2 Strong favorable wind driving us along quickly.
March 10 Strong rain. Pouring rather like floodwaters. John Carver
and Mary Ann Eames are married.
March 27 The daughter of Hannah Hughes from Llanelli dies at six in
the morning. She was cast into the sea before seven. She
went from our sight before sinking.
Other passengers kept journals or recorded memories of the voyage. The
leader of the Saints, Thomas Day, recorded what happened when one of the
brethren was involved in two activities at once:
To Day A Church meeting was held upon deck.
James Needham Cought a Fish weighing 10 lbs,
while we was Administering the Sacrament And
drew away many of the Saints which caused
confusion.

Another passenger reported the following healing:
[A] little boy . . . fell through the hatchway of the
vessel, alighting upon his head on the ring an bolt
of the lower hatchway. When he was picked up it
was found that the force of the fall had driven the
iron upon which he struck into his head, and within
a minute afterwards the injured palce puffed up
like a distended bladder. Of course, he was
knocked insensible and apparently lifeless, but
Brother Evans and one or two other Elders
immediately administered to him, and while their
hands were upon his head the swelling entirely
disappeared and he was restored to consciousness
and to health.
Another passenger reported that when a severe epidemic of fever broke out,
threatening the destruction of many on board, Abel Evans felt that their only
hope was securing the favor of the Almighty, and determined to muster all
the faith he could in appealing to the Lord.
He called together four Elders of experience who
were on board, and asked them to retire with him
to the hold of the vessel and unite in prayer. They
did so again and again without any apparent good
result, and Brother Evans marveled at the cause. It
was such an unusual thing for him to fail to have
his prayers answered, that he was surprised that is
should be so that instance, and he could only
account for it by lack of union or worthiness on the
part of the Elders. He therefore called the four
Elders again to retire with him to the hold of the
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ship, and took with him a basin of clean water.
When they had reached a scheduled place where
they were not likely to be overheard or distrubed
by others, he talked to the Elders about the
necessity of being united in faith and clear of sin
before God if they desired to call upon Him and
receive a blessing. “ Now,” he said, “I want each
of you Elders, who feels that his conscience is
clear before God, who has committed no sin to
debar him from the enjoyment of the Holy Spirit,
who has faith in the Lord Jesus Christ sufficient to
call upon the Almighty in His name and claim the
desired blessing, to wash his hands in the basin!”
Three of the Elders stepped forward and did so; the
fourth could not—his conscience smote him. He
was therefore asked kindly to retire, and the four
others joined in earnest prayer before the Lord and
rebuked the disease by which the people were
afllicted. The result was that the epidemic ceased
its ravages and the sick recovered from that very
hour, much to the surprise of the ship’s officers
and others on board who knew nothing of the
power by which such a happy result was
accomplished.
Not only was Abel busy with his priesthood duties as an Elder and as 1st
Counselor to Thomas Day, he was also busy romancing a lovely 21-year-old
woman named Mary Jones. Mary was the only member of her family to
convert to Mormonism.
One evening, when Mary was about seventeen years old, Mary was tending
the children of a family that was investigating the Church. Mary was in the

loft with the children where she could not be seen, but she was listening
intently to the missionaries’ words. After one of the missionaries spoke in
tongues, the other interpreted, saying that there was someone listening to
them that night whom they could neither see nor hear. This person, he
continued, would join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and
continue faithful throughout her life. Mary believed the missionary was
talking about her, and four years later she was baptized. As she was
preparing to leave for Zion, Mary asked her mother for a lock of hair to
remember her by. But her mother replied, “No, if you have got to go to
destruction you’re not taking my hair with you.” Leaving her family, she
boarded the Josiah Bradlee, but would soon start a new family with Abel
Evans.
Abel and Mary were probably married in St. Louis, after which they boarded
the steamer that took them to Council Bluffs. They remained in Council
Bluffs for two years with Abel serving as an assistant to the bishop of the
Welsh branch and as a high councilor. A little over nine months after their
marriage, Mary gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter, but she lived only
ten months. In 1852, the Evans family crossed the plains with the Welsh
Company. Upon approaching the Salt Lake Valley, the Welsh members
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already living in the valley, sent a welcome wagon with a load of fruits such
as watermelons, mushmelons, potatoes, pickle cucumbers, grapes, and other
treats they had not tasted all summer.

Abel and Mary settled in Lehi, Utah where the family grew with the birth of
more children and the addition of plural wives, Martha Morgan and Jane
Davis. In all, Abel fathered 15 children. Over the years, Abel became an
American citizen and served as a counselor in the bishopric, a member of the
city council and city marshall.

In April of 1865, Abel attended general conference. His name was
announced as one who was called to serve a mission. He answered the call,
leaving his family behind, and returned to Wales to preach the gospel. In
January of 1866, President Brigham Young called Abel to serve as District
President.

Abel served faithfully for as long as his health would permit. In April, Abel
contracted an illness from standing guard in all night long in poor weather
while Saints were boarding a ship in Liverpool. He continued to serve in his
demanding role, continued to travel and preach, suffering further exposures,
until he was too weak to stand. He would neither complain nor allow others
to speak of his illness while he was on the Lord’s errand.

Abel Evans died on November 30, 1866, in the service of God. His
tombstone in the cemetery at Merthyr Tydfil reads:
“Whoso loseth his life for my sake and the gospel shall find it again.”

Josh's letter Nov 30

 Happy anniversary! I for one am glad you two got married, even if it was a six day engagement... I owe my life to that happiest of all decisions. I'm sure you didn't know what you two were getting into fully, but it has been a beautiful journey and there is yet much more to come. Speeking of engagements, what'd you guys think of Dia? All I got was that Mom loves her--which is nice but not all that informative, at least not coming from mom.
> So there is a chance that I will get transfered the eve of christmas eve, but President said he will try and minimize transfers, so we'll see.
> The work here in Brainerd has kind of Plateaued and we're looking for ways to break the level again. There is only so much tracking we can do.  Other creative ideas never seem to yeild much fruit. And as a missionary we have alot of responsibility but zero ward-authority. By that I mean we can't decide anything for the ward. Any ideas we have for the ward become just another burden on the ward and their time. So for the most part we just teach, track, and stop by. Quality refferals are few but we are still teaching over 20 lessons a week. So it's still going well. We'll have a white Christmas--a baptism on Dec 12. We are hoping for another miracle baptism.
> Well if you think about it it's probably a good thing they changed the ward boundaries. The Blairs would have had to be in our shadow all the time and just imagine how hard that would be...jk. Well The blairs can always move again... I guess you'll still see them fairly often. I do have one comment on one of the reasons for changing boudaries being home teaching. The people here in Brainerd cover an area thirty minuets to an hour in each direction. More than an hour north. Some people drive an hour to church each week. And home teaching can be an hour in opposite directions between two families. So if they changed the boudaries to make home teaching easier in Littleton... I'm just saying. So who is in our ward? Are the youth programs about equal between wards now? So will we finaly have some good competition in the Church BBall tournament?
> By the way has anyone finnished the Table at Ben and Gabby's?
>
> This week I had one of the tenderest experiences on my mission. We have been going to the home of the Rosiers about once a week since we've been in Brainerd. Sis Rosier has been preparing for her rebaptism and we've been teaching her nephew Lemuel the discussions. He doesn't know who he is named after yet... We had Thanksgiving at their place. She was rebaptize on Saturday. We walked into the room and her Mother (90 years old) was crying and Sister Rosier was beaming. The ceremony was interesting but made perfect by Sis Rosiers sincerity. She was sobbing when she entered the font. When she came out she exclamed, "I'm so happy." It seemed almost childish and fittingly so. Seeing she was coming unto christ in her old age as a little child. she recieved the Holy Ghost and they were about to close the meeting but she wanted to bear her testimony. She spoke with the force and conviction of Elder Holland. It was a beautiful procession to see pass by and be a whitness on earth as there were witnesses in heaven of a prodigal returned into the father's home.  We are all prodigal and if we can just return each time we stray, humbly and contrite we will someday inherit the birthright.
>
> A masterful talk was given in church yesterday. I asked for a copy and want to send it home. It was given by Brother Oldem who grew up actually in Littleton but the far end of Littleton.
>
> I love you all. what we are asked to do is so small. It is only made large by our thinking so. If we can just bear our trials with patience they will become blessings. Hurrah for Israel.
>
> Love, Elder Sabey

Josh's letter 11/26

Top of Form

I'm sure you would be glad to hear that I did keep the day holy by participating in the turkey bowl this morning. It was alot of fun. I haven't played football in along time. I think I will be sore tomorrow. But I'm glad to see the church is the same all around the world... Well I woke up at 6:30am but I didn't want to work out because we were going to play football so I wrote a thanksgiving poem.
 
Thursday Sacrament
 
The turkey’s an ugly bird
no form or comeliness
or beauty to desire for.
A kind of vulture, my teacher said
that eats both the living and the dead.
 
Two evenings have gone by
since we killed our bird together
shot it through the side
scourged and plucked its feathers.
 
Today we stuffed the bowels full
placed it in the crucible
until the pink turned white
it no longer seemed to be
the bird we shot from flight
 
The tables covered white linen first
my father carves the beast
so his family may eat:
broken bread, broken meat,
broken hands, broken feet
broken wings, broken tears
broken heart, broken fears
 
Thanks you ugly vulture
I dont know why
somehow your death
means I can fly
 
As we eat this first and last supper
our hearts are over filled
with flesh of the bird we killed
all that remains: napkin and table cloth
and hope that the human condition is not lost.
 
The end
 ‘
I don’t know about the second to last stanza but it’s a work in progress only it probably won’t progress any time soon.
 
Well Brian was right about Bro Lund those were my feelings exactly. I have such a hard time talking about the Atonement for that exact reason. I feel there is no way to express it and the closest way is through some sort of fiction. Some epic or myth, some story. My poem is supposed to express this. That somehow through Christ the huge pool of human tormoil of human suffering--the great human cacophany and distance may strike a cord. We are all responsible to all and for all and I more than all the rest and so I am in a way guilty of the whole human condition. Everything will be made okay and just through Christ. Nothing now is just where as everything without it is unjust. David I appreciated your letter. Mom I forgive you for not writing me... You too Rachel and Matt and Cubby. Yes I got the fedEx package. Thank you for the socks and the hypothermia protection. We actually kind of had an Indian summer the last two weeks. It was the warmest it’s been since I got to Brainerd. Now it is cooling down again. I loved hearing about that case. It sounded really intence. They should probabably should make a movie out of it.
 
Well I might have sometime later to type but for now I am very greatful for my family. I am greatful for each of you. I'm excited for what is to come. I'm greatful for this chance to serve a mission. I’m greatful for all those who came before. I am now reaping what I did not sow and sowing what I will not reap. We had a lesson with a really neat family. The only reason they let us in was because they have seen so many missionaries and seen them treated rudely by others and by themselves and still they keep coming. He asked how do we do it. We answered best we could. I felt a great surge of hope. There are many many many who are like him who perhaps will invite missionaries in because I--and because my companions and other missionaries will keep knocking--keep trying. sowing seeds. Someday they will hear us and perhaps join us in the beautiful land of Zion. I'm greatful for those who came before in bringing this great country and the standard of freedom into the world. The many who died that we may live. It is up to us that their sacrifice will not have been in vain now, but in an eternal perspective and thanks to Christ it cannot and will never be in vain.
 
Hurrah for Israel.
 
With gratitude for my wounderful family,
Elder Sabey
 
ps did you ever get my message about sending me winter boots? I wasn't sure if it sent. If not I was just hoping that you could send me my winter boots. That should be the cheepest way to get warm boots.
 

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Josh's letter Nov. 16 2009

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First off how was Dad's Birthday? I hope he got a tool for his present but if not I'm sure what ever it was is a good present too, just not as good...

We had a great week. This Sunday was the best of the mission so far. We had three side pews full of people we brought to church and we think it will be better next week. Most of them were re-activating families but one of them was the Higgins family. The Higgins are such a wonderful family. We tracted into them after being yelled at by the husband of a potential investigator we had set up a time to meet with. The husband of the potential inestigator assured us that she had not set up an appointment with us. I'm still persuaded she had. (ha ha) alas. But anyhow we tracted with the extra time we had and knocked on a two story white house. A man answered the door and we began our spill: "We are missionaries from the Church of Jesus Crist of Latter Day Saints. Have you heard of that church before?" He told us that he was a member, But hadn't gone for a while (15 to 20 years). His wife came down and we asked if she was also a member. She wasn't. We asked if we could come by and teach them some time. They agreed. We taught the first lesson our first visit. The notion of baptism was already present. They were looking for some changes in their life. We them watched the movie The Restoration and talked about what they had read in the Book of Mormon. At the end of the second lesson we talked about some of the commandments that they should be aware of because we could see they smoked and drank coffee and probably acholhol. We were right. She asked about coffee and we gave a quick answer and said we'd explain more about it next time. When we returned she told us that she had given up coffee and would give up cigaretes and alchohol. We hadn't taught the lesson yet. She said she had prayed about it and knew it was right. We taught the lesson. The next lesson we finnished the commandments including titithing. Jason her housband testified that he knew titihing had blessed his family growing up. They lived penny to penny they said but they would pay their tithing because they knew god would bless them. I continue to be amazed by their faith. I wonder if I would be able to do what they are doing had I not grown up in the faith. I am so glad I have grown up in the faith. It was so beautiful to see them at church with their little family ( an 8 year old and a three year old.) They also have two 1 year olds but they left them with grandma. Sister Higgins BDay--or baptism day is going to be December 5th. I love watching sister Higgins when we teach her and she feels the spirit. She simply smiles.

Yesterday we also had another neat event. Brother Lund--whom I think I have mentioned before--is a socially enept and challenged man. He has obsessive compulsive disorder and depression. But I have never met a better man. Perhaps he doesn't have brains or bronze but he's not dumb and has something higher. He has the pure love of Christ that passeth all understanding. He serves always. He has no money but drives us anywhere. He would drive us anyday at anytime we asked him. If he heard we needed help he would call us and not take no for an answer. He is hard to bring joint teaching because he rambels and sort of stutters and apologizes for everything he says. But the ward threw him a party--It was his BDay yesterday. Several members gathered at the Howard's house and we asked brother Lund to go joint teaching with us. They were there waiting for him. He had a beaming smile on his face when we saw him--already surprised. (We showed up late). It was just really nice to see the ward be able to appreciate this great man. Everyone sat around and listened to him ramble and laugh and all rejoiced together.
Well Thanks giving is comming and the semester is nearly over for those of you in school. Christmas is soon. I'll bet Rachel is getting excited. No decorating until after thanksgiving. So is Dia comming to our home for thanksgiving? Is Brent and Christen engaged yet?
David mentioned the Theory of relativity. It raminded me of a quote I might have already sharred from Einstein: He said (paraphrased) you can look at the world as if there are no miracles or you can look at the world as if that is all there is. I take the latter.

Well my next P-Day is thanksgiving. I'll write then.

I'll miss the family this comming season but I know I'm in the right place. So be good boys and girls that’s what I want for my Christmas present... But seriously have a sacred and wonderful time together with gratiude for our family and particularly our parents who have done everything for us.
Love Elder Sabey

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Josh's letter 11/9

This week my companion and I have recieved quite a bit of praise that is not well deserved. Things in Brainerd have picked up but it is not because me and my companion are so great. In fact I argue with my present companion far more than any before. He is a good missionary though, a very stong leader.   The bishop told the mission presendent that he could not be happier with the missionaries and another women said that we cannot be transfered becuase she needs us in her home to help her and her husband and children. The weird thing is we hardly know the bishop--who is new, or the lady. I feel almost guilty. I'm not being self disparaging, we just really didn't deserve it but it was nice. It is really easy to feel terrible and like a failure as a missionary. I think this is because we have so little control. It is the Lord’s work not ours. I originally thought that I was going to come and convice people of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. Either through elequence of logic or the "power" of my testimony. But all these things have no influence unless the investigators opens their heart and if they do that then all of a sudden I matter even less because it is the Holy Ghost that teaches then. Logic is fickle and elequence is momentary and for the most part unappreciated anyhow. And even testimony is dependent on the chemistry of the conversation. It is impossible for my testiomy to be born with any sort of power unless the situation allows it. I am far less a teacher and far more a finder. Though missionaries are the teacher finders and the ward is the full time finders. The work moves so slow until we find someone. Finding the person is by far the hardest and biggest part of the job.

We had an amazing stake conference. Pres and Sis Howell gave talks and the whole meeting was focused on missionary work. It was held an hour and a half away from Brainerd in St Cloud in the university there. There was over a 1000 people. Sis Howell gave a fabulous talk about how god’s plan--or his responsibilities he gives us--are not a burden but a blessing. Then the pioneers of the area got up and bore testimonies. One half of the people present were first generation members and converts. The pioneers talked about going to Utah for the temple and then Chicago and then Minneapolis "our own backyard" (3 hours away). They talked about meeting in houses and stores then dependent suday schools and then branches and wards and now this newly organized stake. It was the first stake confrence of the new stake and there was a lot of zeal for the gospel and missionary work. It was a beautiful sight.

Does anyone sleep down stairs...I have a feeling my room may be no more...Sounds like it might be worth it though. But I do have an objection to having Cubbies friends come over to watch TV downstairs. It is much more fun to play a game or outside. I know that’s what mom has always said and it’s true. I do not remember a time spent on a game system that would have been better spent in a more social and active/interactive enviroment. Don’t get me wrong (Rachel) I still think there’s alot of fun and in moderation they can be a blast but the Sabey household is famous for its acivities. I like it that way. I'm just saying...

Dad, first off I really enjoyed your letter this week. I think I might incorporate your preface to a blessing. I missed St Crispen’s day and Tom’s Bday. I got Toms letter a day or so after. I forced my companion to listen to the speech anyhow. I dont think he appreciated it like he should. Actually he didn't appriciate it at all. I'm glad to hear you went to save Bro Jensen. Sounds like a wonderful ox in the myer situation. I think I would have been scared though. I'm glad he's okay. That’s a dangerous thing to be lost, wet at night in the mountains. I remember several mountain adventures with you: Hiking out the sande de cristo mnts. That was one of those heroic--in our own minds--moments. Same with climbing capitol. That was a memory never to be forgotten and yes mona lisa smiled and will always smile as I reflect on that trip and many of the other expirences that seem like moments caught on a film, a "panoramic drama", the emotion and strife and joy put into a single still frame of mountain grandure. I love the mountains. They are a legacy of you to me. The mountains of the lord. We all climb mountians and they are dangerous and hard and not really fun at all but I can imagine no more joy than standing on top of a mountain with my family looking down into the lakes and valleys below. All goes down. That to me symbolizes the temple and families continuing on forever. Running down the trail together. So give me this mountain--let us climb and see what’s on the other side of the mountain. Every time we have ascended a mountain and returned no where but home again it was not the same place we began. The mountains have changed me and so have you Dad. I recall a preisthood blessing where perhaps you and I were carried up unto an exceedingly high mountain on the wings of your faith. And you saw a beautiful picture there that you painted to me through loving words. Words that I saw clearly. I will always remember and that will keep me moving when I do not feel I can. Thanks for the pictures Dad. I love you. Happy BDay.

Love you all
PS. My adress:
901 12th Ave NE 

Josh's letter Oct 26

This week was a miraculous week. We got 8 new investigators. Some of them are really promising and I think will be baptised. This community has so many people on disablility it is refreshing to find healthy people who will be a support to the ward. We started in this area with 1 investigator and now have 16. Most of them aren't going to be ready for baptism for sometime but they are on the track. It is the biggest thrill when a lesson goes really well. People need so desperately the gospel. So many people are lost in this world of opinions. They are good people often but they are unhappy because they don’t understand the difference between opinion and truth. I heard a wonderful conference talk that I encourage the family to listen to about the influence of society on our thoughts. It was a talk given in general confrence a few years back. I remember the talk but I really enjoyed hearing it again. It was by David R Stone and it might be intitled Zion in the Midst of Babalon. 
> 
> I had an experience with a less active member of the church in this area who told us about how angry he got with the bishop for telling him and his fiancee that they shouldn't live together until marrige. He was married by another church because he was so offended and is now divorced. He sees now the wisdom of the bishop. He mentioned how it is important to do the right thing and the right time in the right way. It is not just the marriage that can be split up or hindered by doing things in the "wrong way." Families are broken up, trust in each other is hindered, a guilt eventually emerges, and questions stay submerged until the tulmult of romance is calmed. Then questions arise. As the Wife perhaps misses her family that has been replaced for a time by her new boy friend, and now when some struggle between the boy friend and his new wife makes them question if they should have replaced their families so easily. Looking back on their marriage they question their motives, their foolishness for jumping into something so fast.  They question their partner and the marrige crumbles all because they didn't do things in the right way. If they had it wouldn't have been eaiser but they wouldn’t have the family strife. They wouldn't have the questions about,  did we jump into this too fast?, or whether they did it for the right reasons or in the right way. They would have trust in their spouse that and so many many other things are solved by doing things at the right time and in the right way. Then Divorce happens and they return to thier families like the podigal son.  The family still loves them but they love themselves a little less and so are a little less able to give love. The world really does need the gospel. 
> 
> I bear my solemn testimony to my beautiful family that Jesus is the Christ. That his gospel is not about gaining the right philosophy but becoming the right person. So many many churches teach the right philosphy of being kind. But the church of Christ is the way to become. It is not as influeced by the ethos of society because it has prophets and Apostles who teach truth that sometimes goes against the tendenies of society. But Christ too went against society. Let us be strong in our testimonies. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. Let us be the people we should be to think the things we should think rather than visa versa.
> 
> Love, Elder Sabey

Motherhood a type and shadow of Christ?

Here are my ideas that I would like anyone to comment on.  I'm thinking through a seminar that the Stake RS will give during ward conference and I want to be sure I am theologically sound:

Motherhood is a type and shadow of Christ.
1.  Christ is the creator of the earth on which life could form.
      It is through a mother's globe (womb) that individual creation happens
2.  Christ delivers us through his own blood and water
     It is through a woman's own blood and water that a child is delivered.
3.  Christ is the living waters
     It is through the living milk of mothers that a baby is best nurtured
3.  God is love.  
      I've heard it said that motherly love is closest to Godly love.
4.  Christ uses motherly images in describing his role  "As a hen gathers her chicks"
5.  Christ was rejected by his own
     The mother role is  the role that is most often "despised and rejected" by its own
6.  A  mother "is as happy as her saddest child"
     Christ's atonement was individual and personal.

Josh's letter Oct 19

So Rachel got her dance suit-uniform-outfit-dress-thing. I'll bet she's excited. But she hasn't written me so...jk. Sounds like life at home is going well. Busy as always. January is not very far away. That sounds really close. Is this a professional competition or gold or bronze? How is “So you think you can dance?” I Is Rachel showing them up yet? 

Matt sounds like he is having the senior year I had. Always busy with a thousand different things. It makes it hard to have an established group of friends. My soccer, track, singers and Mormon groups were so different that I just stayed on the edge of them for the most part. It wasn't very comfortable but it was good I think. I'm glad cubby got a goal. I remember seasons where it felt like I hardly ever scored. But being a good team mate is more important. I still haven’t heard anything about Ali. How is he? I was thinking about Tom Tyndale the other day. Just tell him I miss him and love him. He was a really good friend to me. There are some memories I will never forget with Tom. As I grow up my perspective has matured and I respect Tom now more than ever as well as my parents and family. I hope he is well. One of those memories is his creative nature. I loved the cake he'd make cubby on his Bday. Speaking of Cubbies Bday... I think that's tomorrow.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy CuBbY! I got you a bike but I can’t tell you anything about it. It's being shipped....in two years. Anyhow, Cubby how are you? There are a few things that are indelibly tender when I think of you. One is your relationship with our mother. I love both your independence and your physical and emotional closeness with Mom. That is how a true mature man should be. You perhaps matured a little faster than me. I love your goodness. You truly want people to be happy. You do things to be nice. You are aware of those around you. You seldom have ever lost your temper. Always remember that it takes far more courage to be kind than to be mean or rude or sarcastic. I learned this again this week. We are teaching a boy who is 18. He is in trouble with the law. He and his brother got into a fight. They beat up a kid real bad. The kid wanted to fight, don’t get me wrong. But they fought. He told the story of him kicking and stomping on the head of the boy. When the boy finally got up they hit him with a club. He told it with no tears, no deep regret or sympathy. The fight was caused because the boy called the boy we were teaching's girl friend a slut. The one sign of regret was when the boy we taught said that he broke up with the girl so the whole fight was pointless. I was sickened physically. They felt justified in fighting. They didn't want to fight originally but the boy they beat up taunted them and hurt their pride. The reason they eventually grabbed a club was because the boy had gotten the best of one of them originally--before the rest of them joined in and gang beat him. He didn't die--it seems he will actually be fine. But what a sacrifice. Always remember to be kind. Remember to be brave, to have courage, to live deliberately. Don’t follow the crowd but take the road less traveled by--and that will make all the difference. Cubby I know you are kind and brave and courageous. Help your friends be as well. I love you Daniel. Don’t you ever forget that. And the only way I am able to love is because I am able to accept love. One of our investigators--Who has the appearance of a 6 foot Tominocker said, "Mormons out of all the churches I have gone to are the kindest and most loving. I think it is because they know that god loves them. If someone knows they are loved they are far more capable of giving love." Amen and amen. Stay Gold Daniel.

So Winter is cold here. I will be spending some money on my credit card if that’s okay. I need some winter supplies. If there are any issues let me know. I assume that will be okay. Thanks.

So I am a traveling elder. That means that I am in an area for 3 months and try to get the area started. It is either an area that has been closed for a while or that is suffering. There is a large chance that the area will close again if we aren't successful. It is a lot of tracking. That’s my calling right now.

The 6 foot frizzle haired tommyknocker U described before is an extraordinary man. He suffers some kind of depression. The city of Brainerd is full of people who are living on some sort of government hand out. They all have some sort of medical condition either mental or physical. I have come across several people with severe schizophrenia  and bipolar disorder. It is sad to see and I feel helpless. But Tom Carolson said that one of the foremost psychoanalysts said that a severe mental condition is far rarer and almost entirely absent in people of secure faith. This is not the same as going to church. He is off all medication because I feel like they are very similar to the "street cure" aka illegal drugs. They don’t solve the problem at the root. I think I to a large extent agree with him. A vast amount of mental conditions are caused by faith or lack thereof. If someone wants some medical explanation, it is not a stretch to see that how we think and how we act affects our brain and affects the chemicals that are realized into our body. I assume mom will take difference with this stance but realize I am not talking about out all conditions. Alzheimer’s for example happens to the best and most faithful minds. I do believe however, that Religion and faith do play a large part even in our physical well being.

The work continues and I think will be picking up. Hurrah for Israel!

ps Dad I loved your letter. I cant remember everything so I probably do a terrible job answering any questions.

pps good luck David and Brian with girls. I have no advice and am out of the loop anyhow.

Josh's letter Oct 12

First off, so I dont forget: Dad I enjoy getting your letters. They come either Monday after my email or Wednessday. I really like gettting them on Wednessday because It is always fun to have a letter halfway through the week. I might not do a good job at answering your questions though because I read it and then several days go by before I respond. I enjoy hearing about your work. Good job on the summary judgments. I hear David is thinking about going into law...someting I was actually thinking about the other day.

Next in importance come the matters of the heart. I hear Brian and Dia are pretty much...what is it called...oh yeah, falling in love, as it were, if you will. Anyhow Brian expressed to me that she is similar to me in her ability to carry on intellectual conversation and in her writing...in which case, if this were true (or even possible) I would have to strongly urge against continuing the relationship. As someone who knows myself, no one deserves such a fate as being married to someone like that... So for what its worth, If you continue the relationship dont say I didn't warn you. But sense that is not possible I have nothing against it. It sounds like there is more passion in this relationship than there was with Arisa and that is probably a good thing. Probably the most important thing in relation to future happiness is her testimony so I'll let you be the judge of that--and maybe he mother. She is fairly young but I have come across alot of people here in Brainerd who are 18 and living together and even have a baby so... If the winter’s cold enough, I guess age isn't as important. We are actually going to be teaching one of these couples. They were very nice and didn't go to church. They seemed mainly courious and missed our first appointment but what can you say, they are only 18. I still have faith that something good might happen with them.

That is one of the real blessings of the mission so far. I have been givin a chance to see intimately different cross sections of people’s lives that have been formed from different choices. I use to think, not to long ago, that I could think hard enough and discover truth. I think we dont realize how influenced our thoughts are by society and family and friends and things that we have taken for granted. An example would be The Bible being the ultimate source of knowlege. This idea was started by some reformer and has become a given in so many people’s minds. They dont even realize that they are putting faith in something that has no substance. Another example is the renaissance that was invented by 17th centry historians in France I believe. Now we assume that the dark ages were dark and then suddenly the renaissance came and everything became modernized and a boom in learning and the arts etc. This is something we don’t realize we have been putting faith in something that someone told us that is not true. So it is with our own development of philosphies. It has been so interesting to me to hear different people’s philosphies of life. I wonder how long their philophies will last them. I talk to people who are doing what too many kids and adults out here in the country do. Smoking, living together, just having "fun" in what can be a boring and cold place. I was talking to a LA last night who says that he doesn't like being told what to do by a prophet who says he talks with God so he can controll people. He says he perfers a freer life style. This is such a sad pittiable statement. Could anyone in their right mind truly imagine the prophet of Christ's church, President Thomas S Monson, trying to gain power over people and control them? Fair is fowl and fowl is fair. The truth is that Christ's way, The prophets way, the church’s way, Mom and Dad’s way have always been the way of freedom not chains. It is the freedom of the rope swing in the back yard. It is the freedom of gravity. It is the freedom of standards, of self respect, of happiness. It is the freedom to choose eternal life rather than giving away your choice to someone who would have you his.
It is a sobering thing to see people put faith in a philosophy that is as insubstancial as the freedom they seek. It is not hard to know that this church is true. It is not hard to see that it is the way to ahppiness. Just look at people around us. Be observers of the world. Be part of others lives and we will easily see who is happy and who is not. The hard thing to do is do it. I dont really know why but I think it must have somthing to do with our greatest fear--that we are powerful beyound meausre.

Last off, Happy Bday David. You’re old. So is Brian and so am I. I don’t like it. You and Brian will probably be all married when I get home. Lame. But I guess I can put my greif behind me for one second and express my gratitude to you. You have always been the frame of the siblings. You held us all together. Who can be mad at David? I could a few times but for the most part David is the Sam-wise-gamgie of the Sabey family. Thanks for being the friend that is the hero behind the scene. If everyone in the world had a friend like David It sure would be hard for people to feel alone and misserable. Let us all strive to be a friend to those who need it. A friend like Mr Scrooge became, (insert the last lines of a Christmas carol--something about he was true to his promise, he became the best friend the best man the world had ever seen.) I glad you'll be with me,dave, there at the end of all things

Brimhall Essay by David

In Colorado, we are proud of our fourteeners. A fourteener is a mountain which is at least fourteen-thousand feet above sea-level. There are fifty-four fourteeners in the continental United States and fifty-two of them are in Colorado. For years now, Dad has taken us to climb these fourteeners.  I used to dread those excursions. We got up early in the morning, drove for at least an hour to reach the trailhead, stepped into the frigid mountain air, and, fueled by power bars and preserved meat products, began our ascent.

Tree-line is about twelve-thousand feet—that is the elevation at which trees generally stop growing because of the harsh conditions. I never blamed the trees for not growing near the summit. At that altitude, your body is unsatisfied with even your most sincere gasps for air, and your head violently expresses its displeasure by beating the inside of your cranium.  Trees do not grow at that altitude, but Dad believed that young men could.

As we climbed, he would quote Henry V, the Gettysburg Address or the American Crisis. Echoes of Honor, Dedication and Glory rang in my ears as I urged my almost-mutinous legs to keep going. I was climbing Mount Agincourt, Gettysburg Peak and the Heights of Trenton.  Like warfare, a mountain climb is not as glorious as it is sometimes made out to be. It is painful and primitive; tedious and trying. Yet as our superfluous exoskeleton is scraped off by the extremities of a tall mountain, our inner qualities are exposed, naked and raw. 

It seems that modern society attempts to avoid at all costs anything painful or difficult.  Rugged wilderness recreation has been mostly replaced by comfortable video-games. Commandments are being disregarded because they are hard to obey. Students of BYU are not immune to this disease. Around this campus, you can hear students saying, “Oh, take Professor So and So, it’s an easy A.”  

In 1912 Eugene L. Roberts, then the chairmen of the Department of Physical Education of BYU, organized the first annual hike up Mount Timpanogos. This practice was apparently lost in the 1970s.  I fear that one of the reasons for its discontinuance is our societal phobia of pain and difficulty.

Classes, church activities, leisure activities and maybe everything that is truly worthwhile should not always be pleasurable and easy. They must not be. Eugene L. Roberts hoped that the students of BYU would “reach for the summit” of Mount Timpanogos, not because it was an enjoyable way to spend a few hours.  It was, and still is, a long and demanding hike.  It is difficult and often it is painful. Which is why we should climb it.

Now, I am not endorsing masochism. There is nothing innately good about pain and difficulty, but they may create certain conditions in which virtues can be forged and reinforced.  A mountain is a refiner’s fire. 

The ancient prophet Malachi famously asked, “But who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appeareth? for he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fullers’ soap: And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.” I like to think that the offering which we may offer in righteousness is ourselves—our refined and pure selves. We can choose to be refined, even though it is painful.  We can choose to climb mountains and to reach for the summit even though it is difficult.

The Psalmist asks and responds to a similar question: “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? … He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart.” To phrase it conversely, “Who hath clean hands and a pure heart? He that shall ascend into the hill of the Lord.”  I do not believe that total refinement and purification are prerequisite to the ascent. We are refined and purified as we ascend.

Timpanogos is a high mountain. It could be a refiner’s fire. But we must choose to ascend in order to be refined. We should climb mountains, both literal and metaphorical, like Timpanogos—even though it is hard, indeed because it is hard—or we will never become who we can and must become. We will not abide the day of His coming, we will not stand when He appeareth, and we will not have clean hands and a pure heart if we have not chosen to pass through the refiner’s fire, to reach for the summit.

When I have children, I will take them to climb fourteeners. And here at BYU, I’ll go and climb Mount Timpanogos.

Josh's letter Oct 5

Church has become my solace. I love Church and Conference was just like sitting at Jesus's feet. I love those men that lead this church. What absolutely marvelous talks. I'm excited to read them. I will have to work on my charity for Sister Dibbs though. Her smile is just so distracting I have a hard time taking her seriously but that is in every way my fault. I had several favorite talks. Hollands, Christophersons, and I don't remember the ones name but I'm sure youll remember the talk: It was the masterful restoration talk. I also loved President Monson's. I realized two main things during confrence. One is the purpose of church is as was said not to fill a bucket but to light a fire. 
We do not attempt to create biblical scholars, though that is not a sin by any means, the church seeks to do as Christ suggests, become perfect. The Church is a community of progression in truth. There is no other society in which progression is so readily available. Truth is Marching on, Glory glory halleluia. I received a vision in my mind of this marvelous work that is among the children of men. It was in no way a spiritual manifestaion like unto Lehi it was mostly of my own creation. It was of children being raised in the face of history, Seeing that epic Book of mormon story of a fallen people. The Bible is the story of Christ but the Book of Mormon is the story of humanity. Only it is not the ultimate story. for I had a moment of hope where these children stopped the great stone that had been rolling from Cain--from adam perhaps. The legacy of violance and suffereing that has been past from one generation to another and multiplied as the atrosities continued within the human family. Then the youth stopped the stones one by one as it had begun. I saw a picture of a Dad who had experienced some sexual abuse growing up and then saw him defending a sexual abuser in a court case. I remember clearly a converstaion I had with him about sexual crimes. I was expressing how perverted it was and that those people should be locked up for life and that they deserve what they have recieved with guards treating them rudely and the inmates shunning them. I was appalled by my father defending a man who was guilty but more than that I was surprised at his opinion that society carries so much of the blame--we are the ones putting the sexual images into everyone's head all day--we are the ones that abused them as children growing up. We are the ones that let them go hungry so they had to steal a loaf of bread. We were the ones that did not teach them the truth that would save them as they grew up. It was us from the beggining. And we judge ourselves. It was man that called man guilty. It was man that convicted Christ. It was man that scorged him and crucified him. For he truly was guilty. He was guilty in as much he truly represented mankind. And man judged him justly. But it was Christ that took mercy and declared them innocent if they would but look to him. I see the hero my Father is as he had stopped a pebble of this great stone. Let us all stop this stone and never let our stubble begin its cascade down the mountian side. That was this vision. The stone was stopped as the gospel spread and declared the way of the lord. The world was baptized in fire as the wrongs and the sinns that were being multiplied were ended and a new stone began. This was of righteous parents teaching righteous children. Improving from one generation to the next as Zion the New Jerusalem is built. And Jesus will come again and this time we will not condem him who never condemed us. But we will say hurrah for Israel and Horrah for Karamazov. I truly have a hope that this church is that great stone rolling that is the opposite of the first stone. It is as if the stone is rolling back up the mountian as we push it together--some pushing and some pulling with the yoke of christ--joyfully joyfully marching to our home. The other Idea I had was of how greatful I am for my parents. What marvelous saints they are. We could all be better children and take more responsibility for the family. As I heard the prophets speak about parenting I thought it could have been sumed up to my ears as, "Josh be as your parents were." I love you, Mom. I love you Dad. I love you Brian. I love you David. I love you Matt. Iove you Rachel. I love you Daniel. I love you Ali. I know you love me too and I will not be startled to hear it announced at a sacrament meeting I promise nor will I me ashamed. For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ.

I loved hearing from Daniel. WOW 1:03 that is rediculously fast. good job. your going to break a minuet before the years up. Weather here is getting cold. We've been in full winter garb the last few days. I got transfered up to Brainerd. It is alot different then waconia. I was white washed here with someone who came out from the MTC with me. It has been alot of fun. It was too bad though because we didn't get to watch a singal session in a members home with an investigator like the presidnet suggested we do. we only had one investigator come. We are pretty far north and our area is huge. Brainerd is the biggest city around and its not that large. Everyone nearby knows who the missionaries are. Being white washed is hard. but my companion is a hard worker and we are going to baptize someone here. I had my first baptism in my last area. It was a girl named Charlette. She was 9 years old and her parents were less active but hopefully that will stay changed. I Miss Waconia. I hope a few of my past investigators will be baptized in the comming weeks. 

Brian and Dia thats kind of wierd. She is my age...just think about that. ha ha well I want to hear about it. where when why and how serious?
Have you recieved any of my mailed letters (weird poem and CD)?

Religious Discussion: Lisa and Pastor Dave

Dear Pastor Dave,  

This is Lisa Sabey, Rachel's mother.  I had communicated with Pierce about having lunch sometime with you and him to discuss your feelings about our church.  We hold no hard feelings whatsoever, but I would like to understand your feelings.  I suspect, as with all teenagers, he is focused on many other things and so has not replied.  That is fine.  He has explained also that you can be incredibly busy with work, and your business is not always predictable.  At a convenient time for you, would you be comfortable if my husband and I took you out to lunch to talk?  Pierce would be welcome to come to, that would be up to you.  The purpose of our lunch would be to understand each other, not to argue or prove anything.  In this world of much division, taking time to understand others is powerful.  I look forward to your reply.  Thanks, Lisa

Hi Lisa,

Yes it is true my work is quite hectic right now.  I have been working 60+ hours a week for over a month with plenty of late nights and weekends.  In fact I can barely even make it out to lunch with my wife one time each week.  So I really do not have time to schedule another lunch date.  I am also heavily involved in helping to relaunch a small church in Centennial.

Please understand, I had nothing directly to do with Pierce breaking up with Rachel.  In fact I did not know he was planning to do so until he told me after the fact.  I did caution him before officially asking Rachel out not because I suspected anything, but merely because as a Christian father I always stress two things about dating:

1) Dating is preparatory for marriage and should not be taken lightly
2) Shared religious beliefs is absolutely critical for a healthy relationship

Pierce really liked Rachel and he kind of glossed over these at the time, but when he realized how far apart he and Rachel were in their beliefs, he did the wise thing in breaking it off before they became too involved.  It is true I am no expert in Mormon theology, however, I do know there are enough deviations from the Christianity I follow to advise my children that a dating relationship outside our faith is neither healthy nor advisable.

You are probably wondering about these deviations, so I will provide only one as there is no reason to debate at great length.  In an 1897 speech, fourth LDS President Wilford Woodruff told how at a meeting in Kirtland, Ohio, a “leading man in the church” had admonished his contemporaries to confine their revelations to the Bible, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine and Covenants. Mormonism’s founder Joseph Smith responded by asking Brigham Young, who later became the second LDS prophet, to give his position on the matter. The story continues:

Brother Brigham took the stand, and he took the Bible, and laid it down; he took the Book of Mormon, and laid it down; and he took the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and laid it down before him, and he said: “There is the written word of God to us, concerning the work of God from the beginning of the world, almost, to our day.” “And now,” said he, “when compared with the living oracles those books are nothing to me; those books do not convey the word of God direct to us now, as do the words of a Prophet or a man bearing the Holy Priesthood in our day and generation. I would rather have the living oracles than all the writing in the books.” When he was through, Brother Joseph said to the congregation: “Brother Brigham has told you the word of the Lord, and he has told you the truth.”

Even if this were the only difference between our two faiths, the mere suggestion the teachings of "living oracle" such as "Joseph Smith" are superior to the Bible is enough for me to steer clear.  Please understand this has nothing to do with Mormonism, but everything to do with Christianity.  I advise all of my kids to date no one but a committed, Bible (only) believing Christian.  This means no Mormons, Muslims, Jehovah's Witnesses,  non-believer, etc.  This also rules out a large number of people who claim to be Christians (make believers), but deny Jesus Christ by their very lives.  Simply attending church does not meet my standards, which in this case I take from the Bible.

Also bear in mind I do not ask my kids to avoid being friends with people of other faiths.  In fact, I advise precisely the opposite; we cannot reach the lost and the sick unless we do hang out with them.  In the Air Force I had a great Mormon friend I worked with for many years.  I play rugby with many guys who are foul mouthed, beer guzzlers.  Serving, helping, praying for, and hanging out with all people is at the very core of Christianity.  However, dating and marrying within the faith is also core.

I would like to meet you someday, but lunch right now is a bit of a stretch until I can return to a normal forty hour week.  However, I would love to continue this dialogue via email in the meantime.

Peace and blessings,

-- David

Hi Pastor Dave,  Thanks for your email.  You impressed me with your timely, clearly written response.  I sensed no guile in your response, and I trust you as a person even though I have not met you.  Pierce impressed me with his faith, goodness and desire to do what is right.  I know that it was Rachel and Pierce that decided not to continue dating, and not you.   Pierce was very kind and gentle to Rachel, and we appreciate that.  Your schedule sounds daunting, but relaunching a small church sounds exciting.  Good luck on your endeavors.   I know God is real and I'm grateful that you are doing what you can to help others feel His love.

It would be great to continue this conversation via email.  Someday it would be wonderful to meet you and your family, but now is not the time.  I think the most important thing we can do is outline what we agree on.  These are what I feel are common denominators in our beliefs.  Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong in assuming these are your beliefs:

1.  God is loving, merciful and just.  

2.  Christ is the Savior of mankind.  He loves all people and understands their situation and needs.

3.  Christ has outlined standards.  Those standards are the "strait and narrow" path that leads to happiness and eternal life.  

4.  When we follow God's standards/commandments, we will be blessed.  When we do not, we have no promise.  The blessings are not necessarily in this life, but can be in the life to come.

5.  Our responsibility as believers in Christ is to "feed His sheep."  That means not only help others come to Christ, but to love them and help them in whatever way possible.  (As I understand, you have done this in California with your coffee shop.  Thank you for helping so many youth.)

6.  Baptism is symbolic of a new life.  New life (and renewed life) comes as we open our hearts to Christ's healing and live a life that shows our faith by helping others as Christ would.

7.  Family is the core unit of society and God wants us to do the best we can to secure our family in faith and kindness.  The closer aligned the husband and wife are in spiritual matters, the more likely the marriage will blossom as a rose.  Because of this, I absolutely agree with your prioritizing who you date.

8.  As told in the parable, "The Good Samaritan," and as you have lived, we are to love and interact and bless all we come across.  Just like you, I have friends who are Unitarians, Catholics, Protestants, Pentecostals, Muslims, Buddhists and agnostics.  I love each of them.  We have attended many different religious congregations and even contributed to their humanitarian efforts.

9.  God looks at the heart, and not the outward appearance.  I am so grateful for this understanding.  I love C.S. Lewis' book, "The Last Battle" because it portrays this concept powerfully.  Have your read it?

10.  God is so much greater than any of us--or all of us combined.  We do not understand everything, but we do understand He is real.

If there are common beliefs that you would like to add, that would be great.  This is a very limited list, but one I think we can both agree on.  I think understanding how similar we are before we discuss our differences is good.  

Now about the one difference that you identified:  We believe in modern day prophets.  This is true.  We also believe in The Bible, The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine of Covenants.  These are all mutually supportive. God is never changing, so his words are eternal.  However, the needs of His children is ever changing.  Just as he had prophets of old who were placed at the right places and the right times to "set his people free," so we believe he does today.  Although we are not enslaved by Egyptians, or in a 7 year famine, or besieged by our enemies, we are in a battle for our families and our faith.  One of the revelations our prophets have received is for families to try to eat dinners together and weekly have an evening set aside for only family time.  This is a time where we talk about spiritual things, play games together and laugh together.  It is a powerful time to bond our families together and with God.  I love that weekly meeting.

Pierce's first concern with Rachel's belief is when she told him she did not believe in Hell.  Now, Mormons DO believe in hell, but Rachel is trying to understand God and doesn't want anyone to suffer eternally.  Although she is doctrinally wrong, her heart is searching to understand how justice and mercy coexist.  She is searching and questioning and we are simply loving her and praying for God's help in teaching her.  However, our concept of Hell is smaller than your concept of Hell.  I would love to understand your concept of Hell.  

One of the reasons I feel so comfortable with my faith is because of my love for China.  I lived in China when I was 19 years old and feel in love with many of the people there.  Those Chinese were taught from 2 years old that a belief in God was superstitious and wrong.  They were never given an opportunity to "Come unto Christ."  But so many of those people wanted to find God.  I can't accept a loving God who is no respecter of people abandoning those billions of people because they did not profess their belief in Christ, when they had no opportunity to do such.  God is God to all people, and I believe there will be a time in the eternities when those people who did not profess Christ in this life will have an opportunity to "enter into his rest."

Well, I think I wrote too much.  I do yearn to understand any other concerns you have about my beliefs and I will listen to what you believe with an open heart and mind.

Thanks for your time in your very busy schedule.  Do not worry about answering this long email quickly.  

God Bless you, 

Lisa